My public transit rage is worse than my road rage these days

If you block the subway doors, you are going to hell, I just don’t know how else to put this.

It only took me five months after changing jobs to hate commuting. On paper, it hadn’t seemed like a meaningful shift. I went from a disgustingly convenient 10 minute, four stop commute (I could roll out of bed at 8:15 and not even be late) to a 20-30 minute commute depending on how lucky I am with the transfer.  I must make only one transfer, I ride four additional stops.

NBD, right? Except for all the door blockers.

I can deal with the people who refuse to scoot to the inside seat or who won’t sit down at all and block the aisles. Or the ones who leave nondescript smears and stains on the upholstery or snack bags, crumbs and dried coffee all over the floor. I can just barely deal with the sports fans who take over the train during home games, because sports have seasons.

I cannot handle the ones who block the doorway.

There are the door-blockers who ride the whole way in the doorway area, sometimes two people facing each other so that everyone getting on and off has to squeeze between them down to a single file line. During freaking rush hour! I want to throw elbows. Or stomp on their feet. Because they would deserve it.

The other kind of offender doesn’t seem to understand that you can’t get on the train until everyone gets off anyway, so you might as well not stand RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE FREAKING DOOR WHEN IT OPENS.

When I’m waiting to get on the El, a hoard of door-crowders force all exiting passengers to thread through them, slowing the entire disembarking/boarding process to a crawl. (The silver lining being that this has to be the only reason I am ever able to catch an immediate transfer from the subway.)

That’s annoying enough, but what’s worse is trying to get off and staring down a wall of people.

This morning was especially crowded at City Hall, and everyone did the slow transit shuffle to the doorway. As I came around to the threshold, there stood this yuppie blonde guy waiting to get on the train, leaning casually against the inside of the doorway playing on his iPhone and blocking an entire person’s width of egress. Sometimes I actually think smart phones are the worst thing that ever happened.

This was my internal monologue:

“Excuse you–do you not see all these people trying to get off this train? Are you stupid? Why are you in this doorway?  YOU ARE RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE. For fuck’s sake, step aside aside, Sir!”

One of my goals for life is to become a person that calls strangers out in public for bad behavior. Instead, I said “excuse me” in an annoyed tone of voice and slightly jostled him more than was absolutely necessary.

I want to believe in public transit–I do! But some days I just want to sit in a car and fume at drivers because at least I don’t have to look at their stupid faces.

Photo illustration/meme source: J.S. Clark. Thanks, Creative Commons Licensing.

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