For all of my personal insecurities, I have never actually been the worst at anything. This fact has helped me through life on occasion. However badly I may have done, at least someone else was always at the bottom. Until now.
By the numbers I am literally the worst campus organizer in the state of Colorado. Sigh.
and last night may have been the worst of my life.
Which is being melodramatic, but when hyperventalating outside in the cold and dark at 11:30 pm and planning for the next, impossible seeming day still to do, it didn’t feel like an unreasonable statement. I am not a person who doesn’t eat, but I have been so full of anxiety that there has not been room for food. Today is the first day since I arrived that I have made a place for three instances of food consumption in my day. My numbers didn’t improve, but my mood has. Slightly. I thought nothing could phase me anymore, but this is the most stressful thing I have ever done, by far.